Breakups are never easy, but sometimes they’re unavoidable. If your relationship has come to its natural end, it can be very difficult to pick up the pieces and move on with your life if you haven’t yet learned how to make your ex miss you after a breakup. Fortunately, there are ways you can foster healing and preserve positive feelings even after the heartbreak of a breakup by simply putting in the right amount of effort. Here are 10 ways to make your ex miss you after a breakup.
1) Delete his/her number from your phone:
This might be pretty difficult and take some serious willpower, but it’s probably worth doing if you want him/her to miss you.
When he/she calls or texts, don’t pick up. Eventually he/she’ll get tired of trying and move on. If possible, wipe his/her number from your phone completely (you can always add it back later if you change your mind), otherwise, just set his/her incoming calls/texts to silent.
Don’t respond to any messages he sends you via social media either. Again, eventually he/she’ll get frustrated with trying to reach you and give up.
2) Go out with friends:
Going out with friends is an ideal way to get your mind off your ex and start enjoying yourself.
It’s also a good way to meet new people who could potentially become great friends and romantic interests, so there’s no reason not to get out there!
While you might be tempted to stay home and bawl into a pint of ice cream, be assured that going out will make you feel better—and give you something (or someone) else to think about.
3) Don’t look back:
It’s easy to let yourself spiral into negative thoughts after a breakup, particularly when you’re lying alone in bed at night.
When you’re staring up at your ceiling and wondering what went wrong, it can be hard not to think back over everything that led up to that moment—the fights, where you went wrong, etc.
But don’t do it. Don’t look back.
The past is exactly that: in the past. Dwelling on it will only make things worse, so try to keep your mind focused on moving forward instead of letting it wander backward.
4) Don’t use social media while he/she’s near:
Research suggests that social media can make you appear more available, even when you’re not.
That makes it easy for your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend to believe that they can contact you whenever they want, whether or not you want them to.
In order to give yourself some space and make it clear that they should be contacting you only if they really mean it, don’t spend too much time on Facebook and Twitter during visits with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
Instead, focus on spending quality time together and having fun. That way, your ex will know that you’re in no rush to get back together.
5) Don’t obsess over him/her:
The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop obsessing over your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
Although it may seem like he/she’s constantly on your mind, we’re sure you have more interesting things in life going on besides him/her.
It might seem difficult in the beginning, but once you get past that phase and begin focusing on something else other than him/her, everything will feel a lot better.
So don’t be afraid to take up new hobbies or start a new project at work. Trust us, you’ll thank us later!
Move on: Don’t dwell too much on your breakup—especially if it was only recently that you two broke up. We know how hard it can be to move on from someone who meant so much to you, but try not to think about them as much as possible.
6) Keep busy but remember why you’re doing this:
Remember why you broke up. What hurt your feelings? What did he or she do that made you not want to be together anymore?
This will help you remember what it was like when things were going well in your relationship, which can motivate you and remind you of what it is that made you fall for your ex in the first place.
If nothing else, it will stop any lingering bitterness from creeping into your consciousness.
7) Tell yourself it’s gonna be ok but don’t expect him/her back:
However long you’ve been with your ex, it’s only natural that you feel low or even heartbroken after a breakup.
Part of getting over him/her is working on yourself and improving your self-esteem—and that means telling yourself that you’re fine without him/her.
If he/she wants you back, he/she’ll be there when you need him/her—but until then, don’t wait around for him/her to come around. Move on with your life!
8) Don’t give him what he wants (even if it’s good advice!):
If you give him/her what he/she wants, you’re giving him/her what he/she’s always had: you.
No matter how badly your ex wants you back, don’t be afraid to completely cut off communication and go no contact if it means preserving your self-respect.
Your ex will miss you a whole lot more when he/she sees that dating someone else doesn’t compare with being with you.
And who knows? He/she might even come crawling back!
In any case, by putting yourself first and maintaining your dignity, you are demonstrating that you are a valuable person worthy of respect.
When he/she realizes his/her mistake, maybe—just maybe—he/she’ll come running back. But if not? At least you know you did everything in your power to win him/her over.
9) Stop waiting for him/her to come back on his/her own terms because he/she won’t:
If your ex is still with his/her new girlfriend or boyfriend, he/she’s not going to come back on his/her own.
As much as it may hurt right now, you have to cut off contact and show him/her that you’re over him/her for good.
When he/she sees that you are doing well without him/her, he/she’ll regret leaving you and may even think about getting back together with you.
Until then, focus on yourself—it’s been long enough already!
10) When all else fails – act like it’s no big deal, even though it is:
Sure, there’s no good way to break up with someone, but you can make it better by staying calm and in control.
Remember that you’re not on trial here; your ex is reacting to what he or she perceives as your rejection. Try not to get defensive; instead of arguing, let your ex know that you’re sorry it didn’t work out and wish him or her well.
If your ex becomes angry or aggressive, try to leave without making any additional comments.
If he or she follows you outside, keep walking calmly until you’ve put some distance between yourself and your ex. Then go somewhere safe and call for help if necessary.
This will help ensure that things don’t escalate too far.